Another demon to kill...superstitions.

"Very superstitious, nothin' more to say
Very superstitious, the devil's on his way
Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin' glass
Seven years of bad luck, good things in your past
When you believe in things that you don't understand
Then you suffer
Superstition ain't the way"
Stevie Wonder-"Superstition"


Step on a crack, break your mother's back. Don't walk under a ladder. Don't let a black cat cross your path. Don't open an umbrella indoors. If you spill salt, throw it over your shoulder. The Boston Red Sox didn't win a World Series until 2004 because they traded Babe Ruth in 1919. The Chicago Cubs didn't win a World Series from 1908 until 2016 because someone didn't allow a billy goat into a game. The Montreal Canadiens have not won a Stanley Cup since 1993 due to the trade of Patrick Roy.

Boston Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner misplaying a ground ball hit by Mookie Wilson of the New York Mets in Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. Ray Knight of the Mets scored the winning run on the play. The Sox lost game 6, and eventually the World Series. The misplay was attributed to the "Curse of the Bambino". Courtesy of Fox Sports.

What do all of these things have in common? They are all superstitions.


I know someone who is very superstitious even though he doesn't like to admit it: Me.


Yes, I have some very strange superstitions. Some of them are a cause of anxiety and stress. They aren't the classic "seven years of bad luck" superstitions, but they are personal ones.


I plan to outline a number of my superstitions here for public consumption. I have a good feeling that y'all might find them strange.


1. I will listen to music ad nauseum until something bad happens in a day or at a particular moment in my life. Example: I haven't listened to some of my favorite albums since an argument happened after I was done listening to it, due to it bringing back bad memories and worried that playing them would cause bad things to happen again.


2. I used to listen to music to and from work. When I would do that, my day would be a mess and lots of misfortune would happen, so I stopped. Now, it's boring talk shows on the way in and on the way home. Yawn.


3. If I am watching something on TV and something bad happens in my life, I can't watch it anymore. Example: Due to my father killing himself the day I watched it...I cannot watch the Sharon Stone movie The Quick and The Dead anymore, and that's a kick ass flick, or the Bad Company album Here Comes Trouble.


4. I don't listen to music on the way to gigs I am in anymore due to a bad performance I had the last time I did so.


5. I try not to let myself get too happy because it doesn't hurt as much if something terrible happens. The last few times I had an extremely positive attitude about anything, something eventually happened that was bad which made me fall very hard. Makes me think I am being punished by God for being too prideful or too content with myself.


6. If I wear a t-shirt or other article of clothing when something happens that is bad, I refuse to wear it again. Probably why I own so many different t-shirts.

A broken mirror can lead to bad luck, the superstition says.

Those are a few of the biggest ones. There are others that are smaller but don't cause me much consternation. These above mentioned superstitions hurt me the most because I feel they are the silliest, and are also the ones that cause me the most sense of pain and loss. I've given up so much I enjoy due to being worried about bringing up old bad memories or triggering new bad memories. I have favorite shirts I haven't worn in years, albums that once lived in my CD player now collecting dust, things I once enjoyed I am not able to enjoy anymore out of fear and anxiety of re-opening old wounds or bringing back old demons.


I know, it is absolutely silly, isn't it? Aren't I a buffoon?


That's why I am working so hard to kill these monsters and slay these demons. My therapist and I have a major uphill battle because these things, as silly as they are, are difficult for me to overcome. I am someone who likes comfort and not giving anyone a hard time. I try my best to be a loving and caring person. I work very hard trying not to anger anyone. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my band. I love everyone who is a positive person in my life be it near or far. Why would I want to do anything to anger them? Why am I so STUPID to do anything that would cause them anger?


I hope I can beat this. There are many simple joys and things in life I am missing out on due to the anxiety caused by these triggers or whatever. Pray for me that I can beat them into the ground, so music can resonate from my speakers again in the morning and anxiety can die a quick death. I'm not the Red Sox, I am not the Cubs, I am not the Canadiens. I am ME. I am not a superstition. I want the only superstition in my life to be the excellent Stevie Wonder song.