-Ed Sullivan
My two favorite forms of entertainment are music and sports.
I've been into sports since I was a wee lad just like many other typical American kids, same with music. Anyone who knows me well enough knows my dancing in the playpen to "You're No Good" by Linda Ronstadt. Sports, well, I was an American kid. As a small child, my dad usually had something sports related on the TV, be it NASCAR or IndyCar racing, Philadelphia Eagles football, Penn State Football, New York Yankees and Philadelphia Phillies baseball. I was treated to it all. I try to downplay my love of sports now due to being in a house ruled by ladies (even the dog is a girl) and not having any close friends who are into sports.
Being a sports fan might have also influenced my thinking, especially how to know when you are doing right as a person or a worker or a musician or whatever! Follow me down this rabbit hole if you will...
When you are an athlete or a musician, people have ways of showing their appreciation for your efforts. Ways that you can see, hear, taste, or touch. If you make a great play during any sporting event, you hear the cheers of the crowd. If you hit a home run on the baseball field or score a touchdown on the football field, you hear the cheers, but also you receive hugs, hi-fives, fist bumps and the congratulations from your team mates and your coach. If you win an auto racing event, you get all the congratulations from your team and pit crew, but also a nice trophy and a chance to drink champagne (as well as spray it over everyone). If you are fortunate enough to win a championship with a team, you get mobbed by your team mates and celebrate all while holding a nice trophy and receiving a nice check for your efforts. I love seeing the elation on the faces of a team when they win a game with a walk-off home run, a last second touchdown, or a race on a daring pass in the last corner of the last lap. The best of the best get rewarded with being enshrined in one of the many sports Hall of Fames that exist. It is euphoria of the highest degree. I wish I could experience that feeling once.
As a musician, it is not much different. A great performance earns cheers from the crowd, a bump in album sales, fans worshipping the ground you walk on, and a place along side the legends who have walked before you if you are lucky. It's not that much separation from the life of Steven Tyler or Mick Jagger to the life of Joe Montana or Reggie Jackson. On the stage, I want to experience the same feeling that the Houston Astros or Philadelphia Eagles felt when they won their respective world championships. After a great performance, you get that same feeling of ecstasy and euphoria.
However, in every day daily life, it is much different, and much harder to recognize when you are doing well and when other people think you are doing well.
If you do a good job at work each and every day, you don't get a trophy. If you are a good spouse and parent, you don't get showered with champagne on a podium while your national anthem plays. If you do your best to be a good friend, you don't get the cheers of thousands. You do not get anything for the good you try to do day after day.
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not seeking compliments or trying to sound like I do not appreciate anything.
As someone who grew up watching sports and idolizing my heroes, it is easy to see when they are doing well in what they do. As for me, I don't know when I am doing well or not well unless someone tells me. That may be childish, but how do I know how I am doing as a person with no one to tell me?
Call me crazy, but I am someone who thinks we need to hear an occasional "atta boy/girl", "great job", "I love you", "I appreciate what you do", or "keep up the good work". I know for a fact my work and my personal relationships suffer without that. My work was horrendous for a while, but recently I did something that garnered great praise and appreciation from my bosses. I needed to hear that! It has inspired me to work harder and be my best.
I think we hear too much of when we are doing a poor job as a person or a worker. I personally never know I am doing badly before it is too late. It always hits me out of left field. Why? Because no one has the heart to tell me. I have no chance to improve. Be honest with me. If I am doing well, tell me! If I am stinking to high heaven, tell me! I respect TRUTH and HONESTY more than anything.
In fact, I have gotten into so many arguments because I had no idea I was not doing a good job in my family life or my work life. How was I supposed to know? You didn't tell me that you were unsatisfied with how I was doing as a person, a spouse, a parent, or a worker. There's no umpire or referee in real life to do so.
Unless you tell me, I won't know. I hope more people get the pat on the back. It would do wonders for many people who are depressed or suffer with anxiety. It would also make other people happy as well as yourself. Don't be afraid to show appreciation for those around you. Many do not hear it enough. I can lead to feelings of being taken advantage of, and not being recognized for who they are.
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