I hate going out of my comfort zone, but I did anyway...

"I'm a member of a gamblin' breed.
And when the actions hot, it gets me all I need
So if you find me in our town, won't you lay your money down?
It's satisfaction guaranteed
You get heaven, you'll get hell
There ain't no way for you to tell with a gamblin' man"
-Emerson, Lake, and Palmer-"The Gambler"

I am not a gambling man, nor am I a person who fraternizes with fellow employees outside of working hours.


However, this past weekend, with great trepidation, I decided to join my supervisor and another co-worker on an outing to Hollywood Casino at Penn National Race Course.




Hollywood Casino at Penn National Race Course, Grantville, PA. Photo by Gaming and Leisure Properties.

I know many who read this, including my dear wife and some of my friends, would say that being able to fraternize with your co-workers outside of the office is something that helps to create a healthier and better work environment. Until a couple of weeks ago, I would have said you were all out of your minds. I was worried about any misadventures outside of the office with co-workers would lead to write-ups, disciplinary action, and termination.


In this case, I was going on an outing with my immediate supervisor. A boss. Not good. I'll really have to watch myself.


So, I was pretty nervous most of the day on Saturday until I left to meet up with the others. I kept saying to myself "what have I gotten myself into? Am I out of my mind?" Also, due to personal issues I have been fighting through the last few months via therapy and facing a lot of undead demons from my past, I have not wanted to be around people a lot this year other than my wife and daughter. I have been very introverted, so introverted for my liking that you would not believe it. Yet, I'll be hanging out with people that I have never been with outside of work hours.


We're talking major going outside of my comfort zone here, and I hate doing that! I said to myself "this will either be the biggest mistake or best move I may make in my work life". Maybe, just maybe, if I get along personally with my supervisor, it will open inroads into new career opportunities. It also could end up just being a colossal waste of time.


I meet up with my supe and we drive up Route 443 on the way to Grantville, a small town on the border between Dauphin and Lebanon counties. I am leaving my personal story for a bit to talk about casinos in my home state.

Slot machines at Hollywood Casino (don't play slots...they suck. No fun.) Photo by Getty Images.

Driving up Bow Creek Rd, it is hard to miss the huge gates that lead back to Hollywood Casino at Penn National Race Course. The race track has been a fixture in the area for many years and many top horses and jockeys have run races there. However, with the advent of slot machines and legalized gambling in New Jersey, Maryland, West Virginia, and New York, our horse racing industry was in a severe decline. In the early to mid-2000s, Pennsylvania decided to move out of the middle ages and allow slot machines at our horse racing tracks (called "racinos"), and eventually table games were added. Many of the old-timers and graybeards who live in the Keystone State grumbled at the decision, but as someone who loves his home state, I am happy to see our money staying here instead of going to New Jersey, West Virginia, or Las Vegas. If the casinos make money, the state makes money, and that is good for all of us. It means jobs. It means bigger purses and more prestige for our horse racing industry. Also, why spend thousands of dollars on a trip to Vegas when you can go to a casino right here? It's a no-brainer. It's all the fun of Vegas right here in your back yard. Also, instead of your money going to benefit mobsters and hustlers in Vegas or Reno, it will benefit the people of Pennsylvania and help create jobs for the local people and boost the local economy.

Do you suppose they call it "craps" because you say "Aww, crap!" if you lose? Image by WPMT Fox 43

I was never huge into horse racing. I would watch the Triple Crown races (Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, Belmont Stakes), but other than that, not much else. It's not a sport that lends itself well to television. I figured it was a sport mainly for old people, and figured the track would be festering with people waiting to break your legs if you did not give them a share of your winnings.


When we got to the casino/racetrack, I felt like I was walking into a movie. I thought Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci were going to walk by. But first, we went up to the grandstand area of the track, which was fully enclosed and air conditioned. It was in beautiful shape. We made an error by going far too early for the live racing, which I really wanted to see. I didn't want to leave the track without betting on a horse. Still, we had a few beers and had a good time as we walked the casino floor.


As we walked the floor, it was obvious that the commercials you see on TV for the casino are a bit of a misnomer. Instead of young, beautiful people and high rollers, it was full of older people smoking cigarettes and playing the slot machines. I blew 10 bucks on a slot machine and decided that slots weren't my game. Yet, I did enjoy watching people play the blackjack table. It seems that the table games attracted a more contemporary clientele. The dealer also offered to show me how to play, but I declined as I wanted to go home without putting my family in hock. I felt like I should have been walking around in nice threads and lots of jewelry! Next time, I might play a craps table just for shits and giggles.


We did go back up to the track to place some bets on the simulcast races from around the country. Since we weren't going to be there for the live horse racing, I decided to place a bet on one of the races at Belmont Park. It was just a two dollar Exacta on the 8th race at Belmont, which only had 5 horses in the field, so the payout was not going to be good. But, the horses I bet on finished 1-2 and I can happily say I won my first bet on a horse race! I won 60 cents lol! Still, it was a win! It also taught me how the sport worked. When you are watching a race where you or a friend have a bet down, it is a lot of fun! Also, the horses are amazing to watch in action as they are incredible and beautiful animals.

Horsies! The little child in us all loves horsies! Annnd, they're off! Photo by Eric Kalet

All in all, it was a wonderful time, and I enjoyed hanging out with my co-workers. It was great to bond with them as you almost spend more time with the people you work with than your own family and friends. You might as well do the best you can to make the most of it with them.


I actually feel very loyal to my office now, even though for a while I have been trying to get out of it. Not anymore. I have people who like me here and my best chance for a promotion is in this office. My co-workers and I go to war every day in a very high stress position and we have to be able to have moments of release and if we bond as people, it will make the tough ride easier when you have good people to shoulder the burden with. In my band, I consider my two bandmates brothers for life and I will remain eternally loyal to them, no matter what. I feel the same about my friends here at the job. Loyalty is a quality that is sorely lacking among many people these days. Some people will want to drop you from your lives for the most stupid and petty bullshit. I'm not like that, I don't give up on anyone. My faith will not allow me to, and my moral code will not allow me to. I am eternally loyal to my faith, my family, my friends, my band, and the people here at this job. I have a future here and I want to see where it will take me.


So, 2018 remains the year of exorcising demons, and even though it has been a slow and painstaking process, another one has fallen and another goal has been met. Now, to deal with the biggest monster in my closet...unresolved child hood traumas I have been running away from for years. I feel that monster will be the toughest to slay.