A postscript to my previous entry. Fair warning, get your tissues ready

Postscript: To dovetail onto the poignant story of the friendship between legendary American track-and-field star Jesse Owens and German long jumper Luz Long, here is the text of the last letter that Luz sent to Jesse while he was serving in the German army. It was sent during World War II and was received by Owens a year after it was sent. This would be the last communication of Long to his friend, as Long was killed during the Allied invasion of Sicily in 1943.

Luz Long (left) and Jesse Owens at the 1936 Summer Olympics. The epic duel between them in the long jump was only eclipsed by the bond formed between these two men from different societies: Long, an athlete competing under the flag of Nazi Germany, a regime built on hatred and bigotry, and Owens, the 8-time NCAA Champion who dealt with the harsh realities of being an African-American athlete in a segregated society.

I truly got choked up reading this letter as it shows that the friendship between the two was quite strong, even though they had not seen each other since the 1936 Summer Olympics. In the last few years, I have started to believe that every soldier in a war is a pawn being forced to fight by a leader who would never see the front lines. Letters like this, show that even soldiers fighting for Adolf Hitler had a heart, a faith, and were made in the image and likeness of God. Nobody will like hearing me say that but it is true. Anyway, without further ado, here is the text of Luz Long's final letter to Jesse Owens (Source: Jesse: The Man Who Outran Hitler)

I am here, Jesse, where it seems there is only the dry sand and the wet blood. I do not fear so much for myself, my friend Jesse, I fear for my woman who is home, and my young son Karl, who has never really known his father.


My heart tells me, if I be honest with you, that this is the last letter I shall ever write. If it is so, I ask you something. It is a something so very important to me. It is you go to Germany when this war done, someday find my Karl, and tell him about his father. Tell him, Jesse, what times were like when we not separated by war. I am saying—tell him how things can be between men on this earth.


If you do this something for me, this thing that I need the most to know will be done, I do something for you, now. I tell you something I know you want to hear. And it is true.
 
That hour in Berlin when I first spoke to you, when you had your knee upon the ground, I knew that you were in prayer.


Then I not know how I know. Now I do. I know it is never by chance that we come together. I come to you that hour in 1936 for purpose more than "der Berliner Olympiade".


And you, I believe, will read this letter, while it should not be possible to reach you ever, for purpose more even than our friendship.


I believe this shall come about because I think now that God will make it come about. This is what I have to tell you, Jesse.


I think I might believe in God.


And I pray to him that, even while it should not be possible for this to reach you ever, these words I write will still be read by you.

Your brother,
Luz

A story everyone must read...

"It took a lot of courage for him to befriend me in front of Hitler... You can melt down all the medals and cups I have and they wouldn't be a plating on the twenty-four karat friendship that I felt for Luz Long at that moment". - Jesse Owens about German athlete Luz Long.


"...tell [my son} about his father and what times were like when we were not separated by war. I am saying—tell him how things can be between men on this earth". -Luz Long in a letter to Jesse Owens.


Yesterday, in 1968, the civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. was felled by an assassins bullet. He was a man who wanted nothing more than for people of all races, creeds, and colors to live in peace and harmony, and to have the same opportunities. In these days, it seems like perfect common sense to believe in and fight for equality, right? Right. Yet, in 1968, with the presidential campaign of segregationist George Wallace and racial tensions still at a fever pitch in the Deep South and neighborhoods like Watts in Los Angeles, the ground was fertile to for the seeds of hate to be sown even deeper. So, on April 4, 1968 Dr. King was shot by James Earl Ray as he stood on the balcony on a Memphis hotel. Maybe if Dr. King was still alive today, a lot of the tensions that still exist in society would be a lot less prevalent. None of his successors have been able to match the power of his message. In fact, I think the words of people like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have sown more division.


As I reflect on the loss of the incomparable Dr. King, my mind is going back to 1936. In 1936, in my humble opinion one of the most powerful statements against prejudice and racism was made, but you never hear it mentioned today. It was not made by a politician, it was made by two athletes. It was not just made at any venue, it was made during the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin, Germany. It was not just made in front of any crowd either, it was made in front of a crowd of spectators raptured by a personality cult and the leader of that cult, Adolf Hitler.

Footage of Jesse Owens in action at the 1936 Summer Olympics

The athletes? American Jesse Owens and German Luz Long. Two people, from two different societies. One battled discrimination and segregation on his way to the Olympics, and the other would make it to the Olympics as a symbol of the so-called supremacy of Hitler's Germany. They would meet as gladiators in athletic competition during the Long Jump at the Berlin Games.


Owens' path to the Games was forged by competition at Ohio State University, where he won eight individual NCAA championships in track-and-field. Owens became known as the "Buckeye Bullet". While his on track endeavors made him a star, he was forced to live the same segregated lifestyle of other black athletes. He had to live in segregated off-campus housing and was forced to eat carry-out or at "blacks only" restaurants when the team would travel. On May 25, 1935, he broke 3 world records in the long jump, 220 yard sprint, and 220 yard low hurdles. Owens also tied a 4th world record in the 100 yard dash. Some people call it the greatest 45 minutes in sports history. Owens nearly did not even have an opportunity to compete at the 1936 Olympics due to the racist nature of the Nazi regime, as the NAACP was strongly favoring a boycott of the Games by black athletes. Eventually, Owens and other black athletes relented and decided to compete after American Olympic Committee chairman Avery Brundage called advocates of the boycott "un-American agitators".

Luz Long (left) and Jesse Owens

Luz Long was a part of a German Olympic Team that was supposed to put the "superiority of Hitler's Germany" on display for the whole world to see. In 1934, Long finished 3rd in the long jump at the European Championships. When 1936 rolled around, Long was the European record holder in the long jump and was eager to see how he would measure up against Owens, who was the best long jumper the Americans had to offer. During the preliminary round at the Olympics, Long set the Olympic record in the long jump, so things were looking promising for the young German.


So on August 4, 1936, with Der Fuhrer in attendance anticipating a German victory, Jesse Owens and Luz Long battled for supremacy in the long jump at the Berlin Olympics.


While the Olympic record in the preliminary round had Long sitting pretty in his chances for a gold medal, things were not going well for the "Buckeye Bullet". Owens had fouled on his first two jumps in the preliminaries, and he needed a jump of at least 7.15 meters to advance. Jesse sat on the field, devastated that he was close to failing in the Olympics in one of his strongest events. From out of nowhere, some friendly advice was given to the American from an unlikely source. It was Luz Long.

Long wanted a straight fight for the gold with Owens, and decided to give Jesse some helpful advice. He suggested that Owens jump a little bit earlier to avoid fouling, since he had the ability to easily qualify even if he jumped a few inches sooner. Using Long's advice, a more relaxed Jesse Owens easily qualified with his third jump, so the duel was on between the two best long jumpers in the world...at the grandest stage of them all...the Olympic Games.

Footage from the Long Jump competition at the 1936 Olympics

In the long jump finals later that day, Owens and Long exceeded the old Olympic record 5 times! Owens eventually won the gold medal with a jump of 8.06 meters, while Luz Long took the silver with a jump of 7.87 meters. Long was the first to congratulate Owens after his winning jump, raising his arm and shouting "Jesse Owens! Jesse Owens!". The men posed together for photos and left the Olympic stadium that day arm-in-arm.


Nowadays, two championship caliber athletes embracing each other after a hard competition would not seem strange at all. Even then, it would not have raised an eyebrow other than an acknowledgement of the cheering crowds. Yes, you are correct. Now, realize where all of this was taking place: the 1936 Summer Olympics. In Berlin, Germany. Nazi Germany. In front of Adolf Hitler. Nazi. Germany. Adolf. Hitler. At what was supposed to be an event which put the "supremacy" of Nazi Germany and the "superiority" of the Aryan race on display for the whole world, a working class African-American college student had just beaten one of Germany's finest athletes, and this athlete was embracing this "subhuman" as his equal and his friend! Looks like Jesse Owens and Luz Long had just taken Hitler's propaganda Games and given them the middle finger while giving a victory to the true ideals of the Olympic Games and the true ideals of the human spirit. Humanity had overcome hate. Friendship had overcome bigotry. Friendly competition had overcome displays of might and superiority.


I truly think that the sparks that started to lead to the beginning of the end for Nazi Germany were lit by that amazing display of sportsmanship and friendship between Owens and Long. These were two men that were supposed to be enemies, and bitter ones! A black man who was a victim of prejudice and hatred, and a man representing a regime founded on prejudice and hatred. The two were not supposed to mix. Yet, against all odds they did, and they ceased being an African-American and a Nazi German. They saw not race, creed, or color. They saw a MAN. Prejudice did not exist, and this all happened right under the nose of the most prejudicial dictator in human history.


Three more gold medals followed for Jesse Owens in Berlin in the 100 meter dash, the 200 meter dash, and the 4 X 100 meter relay. Jesse Owens had run rings around the competition from Nazi Germany and the rest of the world, and in the process made a friend of one of them in Long. Even Adolf himself acknowledged Jesse's feats, in the words of African-American newspaper editor Robert Vann: "And then...wonder of wonders...[sic] I saw Herr Adolph Hitler, salute this lad. I looked on with a heart which beat proudly as the lad who was crowned king of the 100 meters event, get an ovation the like of which I have never heard before. I saw Jesse Owens greeted by the Grand Chancellor of this country as a brilliant sun peeped out through the clouds. I saw a vast crowd of some 85,000 or 90,000 people stand up and cheer him to the echo."

Jesse Owens (center) on the podium at the 1936 Olympics after winning the gold medal in the long jump. Silver medalist Luz Long is on the right, Bronze medalist Naoto Tajima is on the left.

Jesse Owens returned home after the Olympics to great fanfare, with a ticker tape parade down the Canyon Of Heroes in New York City. Yet, even though he was an Olympic champion, he was still treated as a second-class citizen. He was forced to enter a reception in his honor at the Waldorf Astoria through a service elevator, and President Franklin Roosevelt never received Owens at the White House. Owens said "Some people say Hitler snubbed me. But I tell you, Hitler did not snub me. I am not knocking the President. Remember, I am not a politician, but remember that the President did not send me a message of congratulations because, people said, he was too busy." How ironic, the ruler of the most despicable regime in world history recognized the accomplishments of Jesse Owens, but our own president did not have time for him. Go figure. In another twist of irony, Owens was allowed to room with white athletes in Germany during the Olympics, but not in the United States, as he had to be segregated.


Owens and Long maintained their friendship and kept in contact after the Olympics. In Long's last letter to Owens, he told Jesse to tell Long's son Kai about his father and "what times were like when we were not separated by war. I am saying—tell him how things can be between men on this earth". Sadly, Long ended up serving in the German army during World War II and was killed in action on July 14, 1943, during the Allied invasion of Sicily. Jesse Owens returned to Berlin to meet Kai Long in the 1966 documentary Jesse Owens Returns to Berlin, and he served as best man at Kai Long's wedding.


When asked about Long, Owens replied "It took a lot of courage for him to befriend me in front of Hitler... You can melt down all the medals and cups I have and they wouldn't be a plating on the twenty-four karat friendship that I felt for Luz Long at that moment". It was a friendship formed on the athletic field in front of a dictator who believed one group of men to be superior to the other. In their friendship, the ideals of Nazism were shown to be an absolute farce, and by 1945, Nazi Germany would be consigned to the history books where it belongs.


On the solemn anniversary of the death of Dr. Martin Luther King, and with stories of prejudice and hatred still darkening our streets and our headlines, I feel that this great story of two athletes and friends needed to be mentioned, because these two men show us all the way things must be. We are all members of the human race, and there is no room for judging people by the color of their skin in the human race. Let us all pray that humanity will soon follow the words preached by Dr. King, and the example set by Jesse Owens and Luz Long in Berlin all those years ago. May we all "get to the promised land" and all join hands and say "free at last, free at last, Thank God almighty, we are free at last!"

Come on, spring! Show your face and motivate your weary people!

"I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
Why it feels so good to feel so sad?
I'm only happy when it rains"


Garbage-"I'm Only Happy When It Rains"


Ahh, spring. Well, at least I think it is!


So far this spring, we have seemed to have more snowy days and dreary days as opposed to sunny days, spring-like days. Seeing everybody shuffling around in bulbous parkas and knit hats as opposed to spring jackets and spring outfits makes every day seem like the forced oppression of the forces of Mother Nature, who seems to have imbibed one too many bottles of absinthe with the wacky weather we have been having.


To borrow a quote from Patrick Henry, give me spring or give me death!

This year, I have been trying to cultivate a new attitude. I try to do so every year, and every year I don't think I succeed. It's not that the spirit is not willing, but the flesh is very weak. Instead of going into spring with a fresh attitude and brimming with energy like I hoped I would, I've stumbled out of the blocks once again. I'm sure some who know me well are thinking "He's being negative again" but that is not the case here, I assure you. In my writing, you will always get the honest me, and I can't lie to you good people.


In 2015, it was migraines. In 2016, it was a bout with sepsis that could have killed me due to poor dental health. In 2017, pain started to creep in to the equation. In 2018, chronic ear and sinus issues that might be tied to allergies. Something physical always seems to happen to take the wind out of my motivational sails in the early part of the year. Time to put the kibosh on that. No more pain, Mr. Spaeder (inside prog rock joke hahaha).


I am blessed beyond belief and am the happiest I have been in a long time because I realize how thankful I am for my family, friends, home, and band. Those four things, along with my faith in God, keep me centered. They are my laser focus. I want to use those feelings of thankfulness to springboard forward and create some new and better habits. With the gifts I have been blessed with, there is no reason or excuse to be depressed.

So, I set some lofty goals for this year. Exercise more and get in shape is one of them. Yet, every day when I get home, I am wiped out and drained from the work day, with working out being the furthest thing on my mind. Every new year I resolve to do this, as I want to stay attractive for my wife, in shape to handle the rigors of drumming, and I still want to be able to fit into a pair of leather pants without looking like a rock star past his prime. Yet, the energies and stresses of the day drain the tank of its' will juice.


Honestly, who feels like doing anything when they get home from work? Did not think so. In my case, it's because I gave 8 hours of my life to someone who can tell me what to do and when to do it. When I get home, I call the shots, and relaxing is what I want to do. The couch, the TV, and the XBOX have a really strong and seductive siren call beckoning the urge to be lazy to come out. The big challenge is defeating that urge because it keeps us enslaved to a sedentary lifestyle. Sure, relaxing is great! Who doesn't love a video game, especially you Gen X'ers like myself? Relaxation becomes laziness when it happens all the time. In addition, the slow turn to spring by our pill-popping, reefer smoking, and booze guzzling Mother Nature has not been a help. It has been a hindrance. The change of the calendar should mean a change of seasons, and when one season doesn't want to pick up its ball and go home, it messes not only with the natural order of things, but our emotions and our motivation as well.


Who doesn't want to be active when it is nice out? Get out and walk the dog, ride the bike (I'm just going to buy a new one), go for a walk. It rolls over to when you get back home too! Play the drums, clean the house, go outside and mow the grass. You are getting up and getting active. The sun is an amazing catalyst, especially in spring, when the temperature is just right. With the dreariness of a day like today...well, it's hard to get motivated on a day like this. Instead of our mind saying "get up and go!", our mind says "Aw, mom, do I really have to?" before you shuffle off to do it anyway. Clouds are Mother Nature's party poopers and depressants. Maybe Shirley Manson was just expressing typical Generation X ironic nihilism and angst in the famous Garbage song, but I can't see how one can be happy when it rains, or be motivated when it rains and it is gloomy outside.


Activity should be something we want to do, but in conditions like this, activity becomes something we HAVE to do, like, "Well, I'd better get up and do activity X, because it won't get done by itself, and it needs to be done". I would rather say "Awesome! I can't wait to do this! I'm going to kick ass at it! I own you, activity X!"

I'd love to have a moment to sit down with my friends who are very active i.e. regular runners, workout fanatics, weightlifters, etc., and find out what motivates them and what drives them. In fact, if you are one of those friends who is reading this...drop me a line. I know I will get different philosophies and motivators, but I would love to know, because I envy you. I want your energy. I want your motivation. I want what drives you.


I have goals I want to meet, and a new me I want to create. I have achieved a goal of being secure in the gifts and blessings that I have despite my anxieties telling me otherwise. I am more optimistic for the future than I ever have been before. Mentally, I am in the best place I have been in years. Now, if I could just get the physical aspect of it under control, this will truly be a banner year that is full of great accomplishments.

Oh yeah: Dear Winter, your season is over. Please leave. Make the Jet Stream and weather systems behave the way they are supposed to in early April. Coldest Regards, The people of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

No one wants disagreement anymore, just an Echo Chamber of Horrors.

"She's singin' world shut your mouth, shut your mouth
Put your head back in the clouds and shut your mouth
World shut your mouth, shut your mouth
Put your head back in the clouds and shut your mouth"


Julian Cope-"World Shut Your Mouth"


I love a good discourse, because it is spreading ideas.


The Market Place of Ideas has always had its shelves stocked to the full due to the free and open exchange of different opinions and viewpoints. That is the beauty of the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights. No matter how appealing or appalling your viewpoint is, you have a right to share it. Of course, others have the right to display their displeasure or sing their praises of your opinions as well. So, if you have a viewpont that divides a fair share of popular opinion and the opinion of those who you know and love, be prepared to have your armor ready. You are going to hear and see some things that may hurt your feelings or cause you major discomfort. Be prepared to take it, and to take it with dignity.


This blog is my Market Place of Ideas. You can be a satisfied customer with my opinions, or you can return them for a full refund. I still love you just the same. My goodness, living in a Market Place of Ideas is much better than living in an Echo Chamber of Horrors. Can you imagine what that would be like...living in an echo chamber? Hearing the sound of your own voice all of the time! It would drive me to madness! I have to hear different opinions being brought forth to me in an intelligent and reasoned manner. I don't want to be surrounded by "yes men" and "yes women".

Me? I used to love getting into furious but fair and fun discussions on the issues of the day. Now, I don't do it anymore. Why? I'll explain...


I'm going to show my age with this next reference. I think the chorus of the famous Kenny Rogers song "The Gambler" contains words to live by: You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run. So simply said, yet so brilliantly stated.


In short, I know when to say something and when not to say something. I know what to discuss with who and what not to discuss with who. I learn what offends people and what doesn't. I know when to speak up and when to keep quiet. Honestly, it's a real pain in the ass, because I wish everyone had thicker skin and could take constructive criticism and honest disagreement, and not think that it meant your life was in danger.


Oh, the things I could have wonderful discussions on with people, but I don't do it out of respect for the feelings of others. Not that it would be anything offensive or controversial, it is just that with many people today EVERYTHING is offensive or controversial. Someone shows the other a different point of view and instead of responding with intelligence or standing strong, the "straw man" arguments come out, the ad hominem attacks start, and the name calling rules the day. A rule of thumb to know is that when you start name-calling, it means that you have lost the argument because you cannot counter in an intelligent manner. Civility is out the window.

People on the Left call the Right "Bullies". People on the Right call the Left "Snowflakes". I personally think that is wrong and both sides have their bullies and snowflakes. Let's call them "bully snowflakes", because they act all tough, but then melt like snowflakes when the argument waxes hot and things are not going their way. Don't be a bully. Don't be a snowflake. Be intelligent and always be friendly, but if things are not going your way, don't throw a temper tantrum and toss your toys down in anger. Be strong. Stand firm. Always be respectful.


Tip O'Neil and Ronald Reagan were close friends despite their political differences. "The Ragin' Cajun" James Carville and Mary Matalin got married! Those people I just mentioned were political oppposites, yet they were close friends and stayed close friends, or in the case of Carville and Matalin, got married and go around the country giving talks on how they make their marriage work. Some of my best friends believe things that I consider to be wishful thinking at best and unicorns and rainbows at worst, and I'm sure that some of my beliefs and opinions are considered just as fanciful and silly and preposterous by my best friends as well! And that is OK! Doesn't mean I don't respect their opinions and they mine, just means we don't agree on them. I take the words of wisdom of Thomas Jefferson:

"if we do not learn to sacrifice small differences of opinion, we can never act together. Every man cannot have his way in all things. If his own opinion prevails at some times, he should acquiesce on seeing that of others preponderate at others. Without this mutual disposition we are disjointed individuals, but not a society."

And most importantly: "I never consider a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend."

Free discussion is dying. The minority that just wants to share and express their opinions groans under the weight of the social media spammers and the late night snark show blowhards. All people like John Oliver and Seth Meyers can do is call people who are right of center names. All people like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity do is make fun of liberals and talk about how great conservatives are. Either viewpoint is the holy communion of the Church of the Poisoned Mind (sincere apologies to Culture Club). The bullies and the snowflakes claim to be against each other, but share the same goal: to opress freedom of thought and freedom of opinion, whether it be by a despicable insult, or cowering in the corner in fear. 


Now, I hear a lot of people say "WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE BIGOTS!?! YOU ARE GIVING THEM A FREE PASS!" Bullshit. Truckloads of Bullshit. Enough Bullshit to fill Yankee Stadium.

Yes, everyone has the right to an opinion, even hate groups. The KKK have the right to have rallies. As a practicing Catholic (yes, they hate Catholics), I'm a target of them as well. They have a right to tell me what they think of me, or anyone else, no matter how abhorrent I find their point of view. I also have the right to tell them back that they are full of shit and that only ignorant fools find their point of view appealing. As long as they just talk, they have a right to do so. However, if the talk turns to violence on their part, I have the right to knock the living shit out of their bigoted asses. It's called self-defense. By then, the situation has gone WAY BEYOND just simple freedom of speech.

However, let us not pigeonhole those who disagree with you as an extremist. Don't be a bully. Don't be a snowflake. The person who disagrees with you probably holds an honestly and well meaning belief that just contradicts you that might come from a set of core values that are honestly held. That's not bigotry, because they do not hate you or anyone. They just have a different opinion. Allow them to have it, and state your case with them. If you both can't see eye to eye, agree to disagree, and shake the dust from your feet.

I'll end my statement today with another quote from Thomas Jefferson: "Bigotry is the disease of ignorance, of morbid minds; enthusiasm of the free and buoyant. Education & free discussion are the antidotes of both." So, I say to you, do not be a barrier to free discussion. Encourage it.





Holy Week reflection (Final part)

"Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus inside the praetorium* and gathered the whole cohort around him. They stripped off his clothes and threw a scarlet military cloak* about him. Weaving a crown out of thorns,* they placed it on his head, and a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” They spat upon him* and took the reed and kept striking him on the head. And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the cloak, dressed him in his own clothes, and led him off to crucify him."
Gospel of St. Matthew chapter 27, verses 27-31


God's blessings to you all. No matter what your faith or lack of faith is, I love you all.


Today it is time to reflect on the Last Supper, the institution of the Holy Eucharist. The lamb that was eaten on Passover through generations is about to be replaced by the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world. Then, we will consider the crucifixion and death of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Christian writers and scholars have written about these two moments in salvation history a million times over, and each of them will do it better than I will. My goal is not to try to improve upon them nor to contradict them, but to reflect on these two moments as I see them, in my own words.

Jesus knew that his time on Earth with his Apostles was limited, so they gathered in the Upper Room to celebrate the Passover feast according to the Jewish custom. Matthew 26:26-30: "While they were eating, Jesus took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and giving it to his disciples said, “Take and eat; this is my body.”*Then he took a cup, gave thanks,* and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which will be shed on behalf of many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, from now on I shall not drink this fruit of the vine until the day when I drink it with you new in the kingdom of my Father.” Then, after singing a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives." As a fairly devout Catholic, I believe that this was when the Eucharist was instituted, the foundation of the holy sacrifice of the Mass. However, you may notice that something strange happens. What is it, you ask?


According to Jewish custom, the Passover feast is split into four parts, revolving around the consumption of four cups of wine: The Cup of Sanctification (the kiddish), the Cup of Proclamation (the haggadah), the Cup of Blessing (the berakah), and the Cup of Praise (the hallel). When Jesus and His Apostles celebrated the Passover, only THREE cups of wine were consumed at the Passover meal between Christ and His Disciples. This is documented in both the Gospels of Matthew and Mark.


Why would Jesus do this, being a devout Jew and the Son of God? Surely, He knew that they had not finished the Passover feast. Was Jesus troubled due to anxiety because of the soon to be coming events? Was He in a hurry? Was He careless? No, far from it. Trust in Christ...He knows what He is doing. Follow me here, my friends.


The time was drawing near, and the anticipation and anxiety among Our Lord and His Apostles was so thick, you could cut it with a knife as they headed towards the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus tells them that their faith will be shaken, but Peter, ambitious apostle he was, tells the Lord that he will not deny Him, but Our Lord knows Simon Peter even better than he knows himself. “Amen, I say to you, this very night before the cock crows, you will deny me three times", Jesus says in Matthew 26:34. In his head, Simon Peter was probably thinking "No way. You are the Lord. I am with you to the end."
Now, in the Garden, when Jesus goes to pray, notice that he makes the same prayer three times. "My Father,* if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will.” Three times. Remember that number. The agony in His voice grows with each passing prayer, and blood is seeping from His pores like sweat. Can you imagine what He was going through? Even though He knew that was His destiny, you can bet the human side of Our Lord was a little scared about losing His life. Who among us would not have been? In spite of it all, He will still go forth willingly to His fate. Surely, He also probably took a look around after seeing His Disciples asleep thinking "These people claim to follow me and stay with me to the end, yet here they are dozing off at a time I need them the most. Father, please forgive them". Yet, while He does admonish them for their laziness, He does not criticize them. This was all happening for a divine reason. This needed to happen. Scripture and prophecy demanded it.


Matthew 26:47-56: While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived, accompanied by a large crowd, with swords and clubs, who had come from the chief priests and the elders of the people. His betrayer had arranged a sign with them, saying, “The man I shall kiss is the one; arrest him.” Immediately he went over to Jesus and said, “Hail, Rabbi!”* and he kissed him. Jesus answered him, “Friend, do what you have come for.” Then stepping forward they laid hands on Jesus and arrested him. And behold, one of those who accompanied Jesus put his hand to his sword, drew it, and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his ear. Then Jesus said to him, “Put your sword back into its sheath, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword. Do you think that I cannot call upon my Father and he will not provide me at this moment with more than twelve legions of angels? But then how would the scriptures be fulfilled which say that it must come to pass in this way?” At that hour Jesus said to the crowds, “Have you come out as against a robber, with swords and clubs to seize me? Day after day I sat teaching in the temple area, yet you did not arrest me. But all this has come to pass that the writings of the prophets may be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples left him and fled." All of the remaining eleven had left Jesus hanging high and dry. You have to wonder what He was feeling, maybe abandoned, maybe disappointed, but all of this had to pass in this manner. Our Lord was taken away to face the wrath of the Sanhedrin.


Then, Simon Peter, the one who said would be with Our Lord through thick and thin, pretended Jesus was a complete stranger by denying Him three times when he was questioned about who Jesus was. Simon Peter, devastated by the truth of Jesus's prediction, fled as well, weeping.


The sufferings of Our Lord went through had only just begun though: facing Pontius Pilate and the crowds who preferred a murderer and a criminal be released as opposed to Jesus, who had committed no crime. Matthew 27:15-26: Now on the occasion of the feast the governor was accustomed to release to the crowd one prisoner whom they wished. And at that time they had a notorious prisoner called Barabbas. So when they had assembled, Pilate said to them, “Which one do you want me to release to you, Barabbas, or Jesus called Messiah?” For he knew that it was out of envy that they had handed him over. While he was still seated on the bench, his wife sent him a message, “Have nothing to do with that righteous man. I suffered much in a dream today because of him.” The chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowds to ask for Barabbas but to destroy Jesus. The governor said to them in reply, “Which of the two do you want me to release to you?” They answered, “Barabbas!” Pilate said to them, “Then what shall I do with Jesus called Messiah?” They all said, “Let him be crucified!” But he said, “Why? What evil has he done?” They only shouted the louder, “Let him be crucified!” When Pilate saw that he was not succeeding at all, but that a riot was breaking out instead, he took water and washed his hands in the sight of the crowd, saying, “I am innocent of this man’s blood. Look to it yourselves.” And the whole people said in reply, “His blood be upon us and upon our children.” Then he released Barabbas to them, but after he had Jesus scourged,* he handed him over to be crucified." How could the people do this? How could we do this? A man who owed no debt to society being forced to this fate? At Palm Sunday mass, we always read a narrative of the crucifixion, and every time I read it I get a lump in my throat, because not only did the people of Jerusalem prefer Barabbas over Jesus, WE prefer Barabbas over Jesus whenever we try to go against God's will. For us it is like taking the nails and hammering them in ourselves.


After being mocked and scourged by the soldiers in the Pratoreum, the long and lonely walk to Calvary began. What was going through the mind of Jesus? Was He looking at us all with sadness, thinking about the mistake the people were making in having Him crucified? Was He looking at us with pity and shame? If so, we rightly would have deserved it! This crime that is about to be perpetrated by the Romans is deicide, the killing of God. Our Lord, our Savior, our King was given to us, and we rejected Him. We preferred the company of a criminal instead. Soon, Our Lord arrived at Golgatha for the final stage of His life on Earth, to be crucified for no crime. Matthew 27:33-38: And when they came to a place called Golgotha (which means Place of the Skull), they gave Jesus wine to drink mixed with gall.* But when he had tasted it, he refused to drink."

Time out...remember that. Once again, He refused the wine.


Continuing: "After they had crucified him, they divided his garments* by casting lots; then they sat down and kept watch over him there. And they placed over his head the written charge* against him: This is Jesus, the King of the Jews. Two revolutionaries* were crucified with him, one on his right and the other on his left."


To the disciples and to probably even Jesus Himself, all seemed lost. All of His wise teachings, all of the miracles, all of the wisdom He gave the people who listened to Him speak, probably all seemed for naught at this time. The sky grew dark over Jerusalem. It was 3:00 PM.


Matthew 27:45-50: From noon onward, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. And about three o’clock Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?”* which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Some of the bystanders who heard it said, “This one is calling for Elijah.” Immediately one of them ran to get a sponge; he soaked it in wine, and putting it on a reed, gave it to him to drink. But the rest said, “Wait, let us see if Elijah comes to save him.” But Jesus cried out again in a loud voice, and gave up his spirit."


Notice, that this time, up on the cross, Jesus drank the wine. He had finally consumed the 4th cup. The New Passover had been completed. Think about how awesome a gift the Eucharist is! When you go up to receive the Eucharist at Mass, you CONSUME the NEW Passover Lamb! How amazing is that? How cool is that? You go back in time 2,000 years to the Upper Room and the foot of Calvary to participate in the definitive Passover feast when you consume Jesus, body, blood, soul and divinity! The ordinary lamb from Passover feasts of years past was replaced by The Lamb Of God, who takes away the sins of the world. Amazing, absolutely amazing. THAT is why Good Friday is truly good.


Back to Matthew 27:51-54: And behold, the veil of the sanctuary was torn in two from top to bottom.* The earth quaked, rocks were split, tombs were opened, and the bodies of many saints who had fallen asleep were raised. And coming forth from their tombs after his resurrection, they entered the holy city and appeared to many. The centurion and the men with him who were keeping watch over Jesus feared greatly when they saw the earthquake and all that was happening, and they said, “Truly, this was the Son of God!” 


Yeah...I bet those centurions who were guarding Jesus on the cross must have been thinking "Oops. We're in trouble now. We murdered the Messiah." They had done the job they were ordered to do, but you can be sure that those soldiers did not get much sleep that night!


When I was at the passion play, the sight that gave me a lump in my throat was a sight I had seen many times on small statues, but even seeing it represented on stage in a theatrical form took me back 2,000 years. I was no longer in a theater. I was at Calvary, watching Jesus being taken down from the cross. I was watching His bloodied body being laid at the feet of His Mother. I saw Her tears and Her pain, looking at the lifeless body of Her son. The pieta had come to life right before my eyes. It was a powerful moment. It made me resolve to reflect more deeply on the meaning of Holy Week and the events that take place.

It made me reflect on the journey that Jesus took into the city of Jerusalem, a truly royal entrance for the King of Kings.


It made me reflect on the sufferings He faced during His public ministry. Make no mistake, He did suffer. Long journeys with little food, a group of followers who questioned His every word, a hostile public, and so-called holy men who wanted Him arrested and murdered. Then, he was whipped, beaten, mocked, spit upon, and insulted. He was forced to carry a heavy cross and walk a long distance. His hands and feet were nailed through. Do you know how you die by crucifixion? Not by being nailed to the cross, but by the sheer effort it takes to keep yourself and your body upright. You struggle to breathe, your lungs fill with fluid, and you suffocate. That is quite a brutal and cruel way to die. He truly suffered. The blood that He shed on the cross was real blood, and He was truly man as well as truly God. So yes, He suffered just like you and I do. After this Holy Week, I appreciate what Jesus went through even more. He went through it all, for you. For me. For us all.


Finally, it also made me reflect on what a great blessing and a gift the Eucharist is. It is not just a piece of bread and a cup of wine and shame on anyone who thinks that. It is our Lord, ready to give Himself to us. He is the Bread of Life, the Living Bread. Do you realize what a gift it is? Maybe next time you sleepily walk up to the priest to receive the Eucharist, you will think about what Christ went through and what the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is. Might make you want to be a little more reverent, huh? The gift...the grace...the beauty...all in the Eucharist. It is truly there.


Thank you everyone for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. I said at the beginning of this that I am not a Biblical scholar, so I hope I did not go off of the rails at all! God bless you and love you all, and have a Blessed Easter season.

Time to stand up...

"Blame me, it's me
Coward, a good for nothing scapegoat
Dumb kid, living a dream
Romantic only on paper
Tell me why you took all that was mine!
Stay as you lay don't lead me astray!"
-Nightwish, "Slaying The Dreamer"






When I was a small child, I had big dreams.




We have a certain innocence when we are children, a bright and optimistic look at the world outside, and the feeling that every new day brings a challenge or a new adventure. Nothing is impossible in the eyes and mind of a child. Now, why can't we have that attitude when we are adults? What is stopping us from having that no-limit attitude?




Well, as a former child with big dreams, I can explain.




I entered kindergarten in 1981 as a 5-year old who had dreams of becoming a race car driver or an astronaut or President of the United States. I graduated from high school in 1994 as a 17-year old who had dreams that he thought had no chance in hell of being fulfilled. At some point in time during that 12-year span, my 5-year old dreams were slain. Who were the dreamslayers?




Bullies. Cliques. The "cool" crowd. The "in" crowd. They were the dreamslayers.

When I was in school, I could not figure out how anyone determined who was cool and who was uncool. Was it predestined? Was it heritage? Or both? True story: When my wife Andrea and I were looking for a house back in 2012-13, I was adamant that we did not move into the school district I grew up in because I did not want children of the kids who bullied me to give Lily a hard time, or peg her to be a loser, just because she was my daughter. It does happen. It has happened. If you gain the reputation of "loser" in school, chances are your children will be branded as well, and I did not want my daughter to suffer from my reputation. I did not want her dreams to be slain.




Did I have friends growing up? Yes, I did. Sadly, out of the group of friends I had as a child, only one of them is one I keep in contact with, and is the only one I care to keep in contact with, because they were the first friend I ever made. One of my childhood friends died from brain cancer over 10 years ago and I wept for him even though we hadn't spoken in years. Others moved away and started lives of their own. I look back at them all with fondness and love and hope that their lives are filled with happiness and joy like I have found with my own family and friends that I have now.




Yet, my circle was small. Also, given the caste system nature of kid-dom between the cool and the uncool, I was sometimes cast out by my own friends, because they were trying to establish themselves with the cool people. Looking back on it, I forgive them all, but at the time, even my friends were dreamslayers. It was very hurtful at the time, and it still causes me trust issues and questioning how true my friendships are to this day, but I hold no malice or dislike towards anyone, and I look forward to a tearful reunion with my oldest friend. If they are reading this, I love you my friend, and I cannot wait to see you again and for you to meet my family.




The things I was interested in as a child were not too much different than other boys my age: Tonka trucks, riding a bike, playing ball, sports, going on adventures in my neighborhood, and watching cartoons on Saturday morning. In other ways though, I was different. Back in my time, children were not aware of world matters, yet I would watch the news with strong interest and be interested in maps, history, and the economy. You could say I was an aware and socially conscious child before being a socially conscious and aware child was cool. Nobody else I knew was watching Tom Brokaw or Peter Jennings at 6:30 in the evening. Nowadays, I would be a pretty popular kid. Yet, back in the 1980s, other children just did not have the time of day for anything that wasn't related to cartoons, toys, video games, the latest hit record, or the latest cool trend or fashion. Because of that, I was considered a nerd, mainly because I would be so excited about what I learned from the news and wanted to share it with everyone. I have a feeling those around me found it tiresome. I also had no interest in rebelling against an authority or going against whatever my parents or teachers would say, so I was considered a "teacher's pet" and a "mama's boy". I was constantly teased about my hair, my lack of physique, my odd interests, my ineptitude in sports, and my willingness to obey parents and teachers.

As I got older, the taunting became replaced by fists. I became public enemy number one to some dude in 6th grade whom I had never met or known before in my life! What the hell? People who didn't even know me were starting to hate me. What the hell did I do? How did I piss in that guy's corn flakes? That was pretty much the routine for my middle school years, dodging bullies, running home from school, being afraid to enter certain parts of town because I was not well liked there. It's hard to hold on to the want to make your dreams come true when all around you are trying to destroy them.




Fast forward to high school, and even keeping a low-profile there did not keep me from becoming a target. Since I was never with a girl, my sexuality was questioned. I was accused of committing a lewd act on a high school field trip and fornicating with a sheep at the York Fair, and people BELIEVED IT, even though I had never even been to York at that point in my life. I was even sexually harassed. What the hell did I do to deserve this? Was this going to go on for the rest of my life? If so, bye bye dreams! Who would hire someone who was accused and "convicted" of bestiality by his peers(though I had not attended the York Fair until many years later with my fiancée)? What I would not have given for someone to reach out to me and not let the bullshit that others told them influence their thoughts, and try to be my friend. Psychologically, it all still affects me to this day, but somehow I have over come it, even though scars remain that have me doubting my wife, daughter, or my friends will even be by my side the next day. What if it is all a big trick perpetrated by those who bullied me in my youth?




Now I told you that story to tell you this one. With the rash of school violence that has been splashed across our headlines, I think it is high time to talk about this. You might not like my opinion, but as someone who grew up as a bullying victim, I have to stand up. I am not influenced by the media (I stopped watching the news a long time ago) or anyone I know. I am solely influenced by my core values and belief in God.




First off, God bless the children who participated in walkouts and marched on Washington. It warms my heart to see children follow the news and be informed unlike many of my generation at that age. Hell, if I was still going to school, I would join them. We didn't go to school to be targets for madmen, we went to be educated and see our friends. To see people call them "crisis actors" and "parts of a conspiracy" makes me want to throw up. How dare you? HOW DARE YOU? Be glad that minds are being spoken even if you don't agree with them. So, God bless them and watch over them. While I may support the 2nd amendment, I also support common sense gun control measures as I consider the safety of my daughter and the children of others more important than my right to carry an Armalite. I don't even want one.

Now, here comes the part that might make a lot of people want to hunt me down like they did in school: I also support the spirit of the message of "Walk Up, Not Out". Why? First off, I am NOT trying to blame victims. I am NOT saying that what happened in Parkland was the fault of the people who were victims. That kid was not a forlorn bullying victim, there was something not right in his mind. He was into lots of things that are not just abnormal, but also dangerous and hateful. I myself would not want to "walk up" to him. As they said in Cool Hand Luc, some men you just can't reach. Having said that, as someone who was a terminal bullying victim, I have to stand up for myself and all other victims of bullying.




I wasn't into hateful stuff as a child and never started being into it. I was bullied because I wasn't cool, and not being cool is still a social death penalty in schools. That is not right. Why do you pick on someone who doesn't have the latest fashion or the newest album or the latest generation smart phone? Did you think that maybe their parents do not have enough money? Maybe their parents are unemployed. Maybe they worry more about feeding their children than making sure that they are clothed in the latest styles. A parent's job is to make sure their child is well fed, clothed, healthy, and educated, not to make sure they have all the latest swag. So what if their parents didn't pull up to school in the newest car? Does it run? Does it get them where it needs to go? Then it's good enough, is it? No need to make Junior feel like a loser because of it. Shame on you.




I was bullied for being different. Being different is cool to me. Why should we all look the same like people marching off to work in Chairman Mao's China? When everyone wears and listens to the same thing, it isn't cool to me anymore. Not all different people are neo-Nazis in the making or wanting to shoot up their school. As someone who is one of the different and one of the outcasts, do not judge us by one lone nutcase. Try to seek out the different ones and make them your friends. Knowing interesting people is the spice of life. I love having friends who are different than I am in many ways because you learn new things. Remember, a closed mind is an empty mind!




Of course, there will always be the one outcast who can not be reached, and is in to dangerous things and is a threat to yourself and to others. Report them, do whatever it takes to get them either incarcerated or somewhere where they cannot hurt others. HOWEVER, DO NOT pigeon hole all of us who are different and who aren't run of the mill and do not have the newest gadgets or threads as someone who will pop off and start shooting people. Even in my darkest hours of being bullied and tormented, the thought never crossed my mind. If anything, I would have hurt myself as opposed to anyone else.

What troubles me the most about people who call people who are saying "Walk Up, Not Out" a bunch of heartless victim blamers who want to piss all over the graves of dead children just to protect gun rights is this: It sounds almost like you are giving a big A-OK stamp of approval to bullying and not reaching out to those who are different and those to whom a simple "Hello" or a "Good morning" or a "How are you feeling today?" would mean a world of difference. Because of the few, are you alienating the many who are different and aren't dangerous and just would like to have a friend to share their life and their interests with? That concerns me heavily, especially as a bullying victim who is still working to try and rebuild his mental life. I've heard many other people whom are victims of bullying also echo that sentiment, and are afraid to say it because they don't want to be ostracized again. We don't want to be bullying victims again in adulthood. I saw the post of one person I know share their experience yesterday, and it struck me in the heart. It inspired me to stand up and say my piece about this and be silent no more.




Yes, I want to see common sense measures to stop school violence, including certain gun control measures. Yes, I support the students speaking their minds and fighting for something they believe in as opposed to having their face buried in a smart phone. However, YES, I also support students doing whatever they can to reach out to the students who are bullied and have no friends and show them that someone cares about them. After going through the hell I went through growing up, how can I not? Yet, I will be damned if you will call ME and anyone else who has endured bullying and torture in school a victim blamer just because we want to see the bullied and the ostracized be treated with respect and kindness. Don't turn the bullied into the bully.




"We are the others,
We are the cast outs,
We're the outsiders
But you can't hide us,
We are the others,
We are the cast outs
You're not out there on your own
If you feel mistreated,
Torn and cheated,
You're not alone,
We are the others (we are the others)"


Delain-"We Are The Others"

Holy Week Reflection (Part 2)

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how many times I yearned to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her young under her wings, but you were unwilling! Behold, your house will be abandoned, desolate. I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.’”
Gospel of St. Matthew, chapter 23, verses 37-39


When He entered Jerusalem, riding on a donkey and being greeted with raised palms and shouts of "Hosanna!", one could figure that Our Lord Jesus could have easily become the King of the Jewish people and would have lived a long life on the throne, guiding His people with His steady hand. In a certain sense, you would be correct, but as we know, His throne was not of this world. Yet, while the people hung on every word of Jesus with awe and amazement, the chief priests, Pharisees, Sadducees, and scribes did everything they could to throw a spanner into the works and prove the words of Jesus Christ to be a sham, a falsehood, and a canard. One by one, they lined up their questioning, and one by one He knocked them out of the park. You can sense that even a humble and holy man would have grown irritated at the situation, but Our Lord was not your typical humble and holy man. He was humble and holy, yes, but he was also true God and true man. So, yes, I believe our Lord was starting to grow thin on patience after the intense period of testing and questioning He was put through. Even He had to be thinking "what do I have to do. Father?"


Well, unlike you or I, who would have probably lost the plot by now, Our Lord responded by giving His most passionate sermon. He did not mince words.


Consider Matthew 23:2-12: "The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens* [hard to carry] and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues, greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation ‘Rabbi.’ As for you, do not be called ‘Rabbi.’ You have but one teacher, and you are all brothers. Call no one on earth your father; you have but one Father in heaven. Do not be called ‘Master’; you have but one master, the Messiah. The greatest among you must be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted."


So, He DOES acknowledge the authority of the scribes and the Pharisees. He gives them their due. They ARE people of authority as they are on the seat of Moses. It is only right and proper then to do what they outline for the faithful to do. Jesus then starts giving them a proverbial kick up the backside by telling everyone not to do as they do. You almost have to wonder what He was thinking when He came into Jerusalem and saw these men, these leaders of the faith community, doing their best to be seen, to stick out in the crowd. He had to be thinking "Goodness, these rabbis, it seems like they have forgotten why they are here. They should be ministering to the faithful, but instead they seem to be more interested in power and prestige. What has happened to them? This has got to change." Obviously the scribes and the Pharisees seemed to be a lot like modern day politicians, more interested in money and power as opposed to helping the people. So, Our Lord tells them to be exalted, they need to humble themselves and take on the form of servants. A simple, but bold and powerful message.

Was Our Lord finished in His diatribe? Oh no, He continued to speak of His displeasure towards the Pharisees and scribes. So, if you ever feel like it is wrong to be angry, recall how Our Lord felt when He saw what the chief priests in Jerusalem were doing to His Father's faith! This was divine anger, righteous anger! It is as if God came to Earth Himself and gave the Pharisees and scribes a piece of His mind...oh wait, He did in the form of Jesus Christ. So yes, He DID come to Earth to put these leaders of the faithful into line. Matthew 23:13-36: "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You lock the kingdom of heaven* before human beings. You do not enter yourselves, nor do you allow entrance to those trying to enter. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You traverse sea and land to make one convert, and when that happens you make him a child of Gehenna twice as much as yourselves. “Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘If one swears by the temple, it means nothing, but if one swears by the gold of the temple, one is obligated.’ Blind fools, which is greater, the gold, or the temple that made the gold sacred? And you say, ‘If one swears by the altar, it means nothing, but if one swears by the gift on the altar, one is obligated.’ You blind ones, which is greater, the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? One who swears by the altar swears by it and all that is upon it; one who swears by the temple swears by it and by him who dwells in it; one who swears by heaven swears by the throne of God and by him who is seated on it. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You pay tithes* of mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier things of the law: judgment and mercy and fidelity. [But] these you should have done, without neglecting the others. Blind guides, who strain out the gnat and swallow the camel! “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You cleanse the outside of cup and dish, but inside they are full of plunder and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, cleanse first the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may be clean. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth. Even so, on the outside you appear righteous, but inside you are filled with hypocrisy and evildoing. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees,* you hypocrites. You build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the memorials of the righteous, and you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would not have joined them in shedding the prophets’ blood.’ Thus you bear witness against yourselves that you are the children of those who murdered the prophets; now fill up what your ancestors measured out! You serpents, you brood of vipers, how can you flee from the judgment of Gehenna? Therefore, behold, I send to you prophets and wise men and scribes; some of them you will kill and crucify, some of them you will scourge in your synagogues and pursue from town to town, so that there may come upon you all the righteous blood shed upon earth, from the righteous blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, the son of Barachiah, whom you murdered between the sanctuary and the altar. Amen, I say to you, all these things will come upon this generation."


I can't really elaborate on that, other than it is quite obvious that Our Lord is pretty upset with the scribes and Pharisees! Before He spoke this passage, you can bet His thoughts were like "Look at you. You scribes and Pharisees think you are so holy, so perfect, and so powerful. You think that those who came before you were the fools, but I see the fools right in front of me. Listen to what I am saying, because your ministry and your soul depends on it. You are heading down a very dark path." Yet, I do not think the anger Our Lord felt was with malice. On the contrary, I think He said what He did out of love. Tough love, but love none the less. We can relate to that nowadays, when we deal with bad priests, ministers, or clergy. When we see an abuse of the liturgy or another practice of the faith being done incorrectly, we have a duty to our faith to speak out, but with love and concern. We love our priests and we want them to be the best! So, don't be afraid to call someone out when they are doing wrong.

Then, it seems almost that Our Lord has given up in Matthew 23:37-39 "“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how many times I yearned to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her young under her wings, but you were unwilling! Behold, your house will be abandoned, desolate. I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.’” He sounds just like a parent who has told their child again and again to stop doing something, but they remain ignorant, so He gives them a stern warning for Jerusalem to mend its ways. Jesus, though, has not "given up". If anything, Jerusalem has given up.


Some of you may say to me "Hey, you skipped over a lot of great parables and other parts of his preaching." Correct, but if I went into every part of his public ministry during His final days, this entry would take a month to write. So, I am doing my best to hit upon moments where I can focus on Jesus and His humanity and His emotions. Please bear with me. We will soon be entering the Upper Room to observe the Passover between Jesus and The Twelve. But before that, after the public verbal flogging that Our Lord had given the chief priests and scribes, they were not exactly happy with this stranger just waltzing in and bringing rain down on their parade. Once again, who does he think he is? This guy is a threat to us and our way of life. We like things just the way they are. We need to deal with this problem once and for all.


Soon, the chief priests found an unlikely ally in their want to rid themselves of Jesus and his "blasphemy"...one of the Twelve, one of Jesus's chosen, Judas Iscariot. Matthew 26:14-17: "Then one of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot,* went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over." However, many biblical scholars and historians believe that it was more than the promise of money that caused Judas to betray Our Lord. It is widely believed that Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus because Our Lord was not the Messianic King of the Old Testament who would overthrow the tyranny of Roman rule. I am trying to imagine myself in Judas's position here, so please forgive me. Imagine yourself a young man, growing up on the teachings of the elders, and reading in the sacred texts that one day, a king will come. For years, you wait and wait. Then, a man arrives who seems to be coming in power, with knowledge and wisdom. You follow him, thinking he is the one that will lead you and your kin out of bondage. You witness miracles that you would not believe if you had not seen them with your own eyes. You anticipate the day that he will take up the sword and lead a rebellion, but that day never comes. You start to grow weary of his preaching and his words because they are not leading to action. Soon, you decide that he is not the Messiah that you have been told would come, so you decide to turn him in for being a fraud, a blasphemer. I think that is the mindset that Judas had when he betrayed Jesus. I also think that, when we decide to sin, we all develop that mindset, we think we know better than Our Lord so we decide to betray Him.

Well, no matter what drove Judas to betrayal, the chief priests finally had a mole within The Twelve that would help them win the day and rid them of Jesus. If Our Lord were just an ordinary man, they would be right. Our Lord was on to the whole plot right from the word go, not to save His own skin, but because He needed to be. The Passover had begun, and a Passover lamb was needed, and Jesus was that Lamb.


In the next segment of my reflection, we will consider the Upper Room, the arrest of Our Lord, and His Passion on Calvary. I truly hope you are enjoying my reflection on Holy Week. God bless you all.

Lenten Reflection (Part 1)

“You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment.
The second is like it:* You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.”
-Gospel of St. Matthew chapter 22, verses 37-40.


Well, Holy Week is upon us. The week that changed the world. The most powerful event in human history and salvation history took place on this very week. That event is the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus. For those that do not understand, no explanation is possible. For those who do, no explanation is necessary.

With this entry, I am not going to try and please all of the people all of the time. Some of you may like what I have to say, others might wonder if I had lost my mind. Now that I have said that, what I am going to do is meditate here on the events of Holy Week and what they mean to me. My favorite gospel in Sacred Scripture has always been the Gospel of Matthew. No, it is not because the gospel was written by my namesake. It is because it is the gospel that shows off the most of Jesus' humanity. Yes, He is truly God, but He is also truly man. The two natures cannot be separated.


Now, I will beg your pardon, especially if you are well-versed in the Bible and in theology. Chances are you will forget more about Scripture than I will ever know.


What I write will be focusing on Jesus the man, as opposed to Jesus, the Son of God. I wonder many things about Him, and I wonder what was going through His mind from Palm Sunday to the time He breathed out His last on the cross at Calvary. Could He have gone through the same emotions we would if we were in His situation? Did He suffer any anxieties? Did He get angry? Did He ever have it in His mind that what He was doing was not worth going through?


First off, I have to say yes. He was true God and true Man. Being a man, Jesus was susceptible to all of the same emotions the rest of us humans are. You had to figure there was anticipation and anxiety on His mind. He was every bit of a human as you and I are, just without the stain of original sin. Emotions are not sins, so you must be wondering what He was feeling. What sets Him apart from the rest of us was how He responded to it.


Scripture tells us He had moments of emotion just like you and I would have. Consider the death of His friend Lazarus in John chapter 11. The shortest verse in Scripture: And Jesus wept. His friend was dead. The Son of God wept for the loss of His friend just like you or I would. But, what made Him different was, of course, how He reacted to it. Instead of going into hysterics or a deep depression, we read "“Father, I thank you for hearing me.
I know that you always hear me; but because of the crowd here I have said this, that they may believe that you sent me. And when he had said this, he cried out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” Jesus had thanked His Father, and explained why He was doing what he was doing, to show the people that He was who He said He was, that he was not fooling around.

We all have our days where we are angry. Be it we are cut off in traffic, dealing with difficult people at work, or the guy at McDonald's got our order wrong, we have many little things that make us want to go into a rage. Even Jesus had one of those moments, but while we obsess and moan over little problems in the grand scheme of it all, He was driven to his actions by love for His Father and His Father's House. Matthew 21:12: "Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all those engaged in selling and buying there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who were selling doves. And he said to them, “It is written: ‘My house shall be a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of thieves.” For sure, Jesus had quite a good reason for His rage in the Temple, because what was supposed to be a place for contemplation and prayer was being turned into a marketplace. If He saw the TV preachers who supposedly proclaim His word today, I am sure Jesus would have the same reaction. Yet, He had a moment where He was angry, just like you and I do.


However, while many moments of Jesus's public ministry were documented in the Scriptures, there are times when I wonder, what was going on in His mind? That was not documented for the most part. I am apprehensive about talking on this matter because I do not want to be seen as a blasphemer or trying to write a new gospel. That is not the case, so just indulge me. This is meant to be a meditation, trying to contemplate the major moments of Jesus' ministry as if I was there in 33 A.D. watching all of this happen as an outside observer. How would we react if we were in those circumstances, if we were like a journalist trying to report on these incredible events in the Jerusalem Post? To do that, we have to at least try to stand in His place.


It is difficult for someone like you or I to put ourselves in His position, because He was a man greater than any of us could hope to be. I know if I was Him, I would probably be starting to grow weary of it all. To have twelve men follow you around and claim to be obedient and hanging on your every word, but at the same time also question every thing you tell them like an incorrigible child...no thanks! I'd be telling them to shut up and listen or I'm asking my Father to find someone to take my place. Thank God it was Jesus who was chosen for this mission by His Heavenly Father, because only Jesus was the right man for the task. You or I? We could not handle it.


Consider His entrance into Jerusalem. Matthew 21:8-11: "The very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and strewed them on the road. The crowds preceding him and those following kept crying out and saying: “Hosanna* to the Son of David; blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord; hosanna in the highest.” And when he entered Jerusalem the whole city was shaken* and asked, “Who is this?” And the crowds replied, “This is Jesus the prophet,* from Nazareth in Galilee.” Now, I am sure that Our Lord was amazed by this outpouring of affection and love from the people of Jerusalem, even if He knew it was foretold. Once again...true God and true man. He had to be thinking to Himself that these people are ready to hear what I have to tell them, and they will be willing listeners. I mean, with a reception like that, how could one not? It was basically a regal welcome, a royal procession. The people of Jerusalem were ready for their new king.


Well, the people were! The chief priests, elders, and scribes? Not so much...they were on a mission to prove that Jesus was a fake and a phony. Full of pride and arrogance, they decided to subject Our Lord to a pretty aggressive equivalent of a game of Twenty Questions. At first they questioned the authority of Jesus, but Jesus calmly went about telling parables, and while each parable contained great knowledge and wisdom, at the end of each of the parables, Jesus did not resist the chance to tell the chief priests and the scribes that their authority was soon coming to an end. The way He would do it was masterful. Matthew 21:32: "When John came to you in the way of righteousness, you did not believe him; but tax collectors and prostitutes did. Yet even when you saw that, you did not later change your minds and believe him." Jesus basically just came and put the taxman and ladies of the night in a higher bracket than the priests and scribes. Ouch! Then, in Matthew 21:43, during the Parable of the Tenants, is even more direct: "Therefore, I say to you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will produce its fruit. The one who falls on this stone will be dashed to pieces; and it will crush anyone on whom it falls". Yep. If Jesus had a microphone, He would have dropped it. Yet, even if He did have a microphone, nothing of the sort would have happened. Jesus said what He meant and He meant what He said. No more was needed, no fanfare, no pageantry, no drama. That was that. Case closed. The most humble man that ever walked the Earth would not put Himself above others or brag.

Yet, the chief priests, elders, and scribes were undaunted. They were bound and determined to prove Him a farce. This man had just all of a sudden walked into Jerusalem, had the crowds and the people on His side, and was refuting their questions with ease? Who in the world did this Jesus think He was? He's gotta go. More questions came, more parables followed. Then, the Pharisees thought they had Jesus. They thought that they had the question that would trip Him up. No chance He could brush aside this one:
Matthew 22:15-17: Then the Pharisees* went off and plotted how they might entrap him in speech. They sent their disciples to him, with the Herodians,* saying, “Teacher, we know that you are a truthful man and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. And you are not concerned with anyone’s opinion, for you do not regard a person’s status. Tell us, then, what is your opinion: Is it lawful to pay the census tax to Caesar or not?”


Jesus' response pretty much gives away what was going on in His mind here. Even a humble man like Him would have grown annoyed and have thought "Seriously? You guys don't know when to quit do you?" His reply in Matthew 22:18: Knowing their malice, Jesus said, “Why are you testing me, you hypocrites?" He's almost saying "Come on, guys...this is a waste of time. But, if you want to go there..." He replies: Show me the coin that pays the census tax.” Then they handed him the Roman coin. He said to them, “Whose image is this and whose inscription?” They replied, “Caesar’s.”* At that he said to them, “Then repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God.”


Once again, Jesus had turned the tables on the scribes and the Pharisees. Yet, they would keep proving the definition of insanity to be true by continuing their questioning. Once again, even Our Lord had to be growing a little perturbed. Still, the Pharisees and the scribes seemed to be gluttons for punishment. The Sadducees questioned Him about the Resurrection, which is covered in Matthew 22:23-33. After that, the Sadducees cried "Enough!" and were silenced. Jesus had to be wondering to himself that maybe, just maybe, people were starting to listen to his message and will take it to heart. But, the Pharisees decided to take one more bite of the apple and ask Jesus about what was the greatest commandment, and then about whom is the Son of David in Matthew 22:34-46. Then, finally, the wisdom of our Lord had won the day, and "No one was able to answer him a word, nor from that day on did anyone dare to ask him any more questions." (Matthew 22:46)

However, after all of that debate, discussion, and argument, you would have to believe that Jesus was quite tired, and his patience quite thin. I know personally that I would be ready to throw hands or ready to cry out "I AM THE SON OF GOD! WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?" Can you imagine how Jesus must felt when he turned to the Pharisees and Sadducees to denounce them? He must have been ready to call down a lightning bolt on them. Yet, no. Humility turned whatever anger was within the heart of our Lord into probably the most impassioned and emotional sermons of His public ministry, which begins in Matthew chapter 23.


To be continued...