Self-Improvement does not end with mistakes

"You got to grow, you got to learn by your mistakes
You got to die a little every day just to try to stay awake
When you believe there's no mountain you can climb
And if you get it wrong, you'll get it right next time, next time"
Gerry Rafferty-"Get It Right Next Time"


Don't worry, you will get it right the next time.


There is a problem with that old maxim: Sooner or later there is no next time, and it has to be this time or bust.


We are an impatient people. We want everything here and now. We are not equipped to wait for it patiently. People slip up all the time and make so many mistakes or say the wrong thing so many times that they might as well just keep that foot in their mouths. We used to think our mistakes were our greatest teachers. Now, we think our mistakes can be corrected instantly. In our current culture, it is easy to think that. We can erase whole paragraphs in the blink of an eye on a computer. We have functions on our smartphones that auto-complete words for us. Mistakes have almost become a
blight on a society that is obsessed with perfection and speed.

I think that is wrong. Dead wrong. Making a mistake is not a sin. Please note I am talking about mistakes, not sins. Don't start a murderous rampage or start sleeping with multiple partners behind your spouse's back (those are sins, not mistakes). Know thy difference.  Even the good book says that a just man falls seven times a day. When Jesus was proclaiming the word during His public ministry, he upped that number to seventy times seven! Even the perfect man had to admit that man is an imperfect creature. Yet, the mistake prone among us are sentenced to a life of being told about how sick and tired others are of our mishaps.


Accidents happen. Mistakes are a part of being human, and it is time that our so-called modern minds understand that once again.


I have been trying very, very hard to change things about myself that I do not like. Some behaviours are easily corrected. Others take a longer time and constantly need to be adjusted. It is very difficult to change many things about yourself all at once. It might be difficult for you too. It might be
difficult for us all. Yet, we are still expected to change and improve right away. The human psyche cannot change itself that fast. Bad habits and behaviors become ingrained in us and need to be worked out with time and adjustment. That is happening, just not as fast as I would like it to.

Even when I get something right, it seems like I get two things incorrect. I'll get A down to perfection, but mess up royally on B and C. So, then I will focus on B and C, but then A suffers. It would be nice to get all A, B and C correct the first time out. Or, I will start getting everything
correct, but instead of doing it in a rapid manner, I will make something a little bit better each time around. But no, that is not good enough. There is no next time. One and done. If you fail, you failed. Don't even think of trying again.


Well, I am proud of the small steps forward that I take in my self-improvement journey. Lots of small steps eventually equal big steps. They are steps I would not have felt the need to take if I did not have a family that loves me and friends that love me and a therapist who listens to me instead of just
going all Freudian. Improvement is improvement even if it is not at the speed of sound.


And yes, like it or not, I will keep making mistakes. Because I want to? No, because I am human. I hate making mistakes. I don't like making mistakes the one least bit. Yet, each mistake serves to teach a lesson to be learned and a chance for personal and spiritual improvement.


Now, hold on one second. Am I saying that you should DELIBERATELY make mistakes? NO! What I AM saying is that you should not beat yourself up when you make an error. There are many times where I want to punch my own brains out for making mistakes. However, that is not healthy. Or, I usually want to sulk for a little bit and feel like I am in a no-win situation. Also, not healthy. There is nothing wrong with being contrite. There is something wrong with being self-destructive. Tell yourself that "I screwed up. My fault. I accept responsibility. I will do my best to learn from this mistake and not do it again". Yes, that might be a simplified and secularized form of a Catholic Act of Contrition, but that is a wonderful model for expressing regret for making a mistake. It is also spiritually uplifting.

Also, I believe that those who criticize the ones who make lots of mistakes should definitely ease up and be more understanding. Don't chastise someone too vehemently. Unless your name is God, chances are you have made a whole comedy of errors in your lifetime. So please be fair, but don't be afraid to be firm. Firm does not have to mean austere. Also, if you call yourself a Christian, I hold you to an even higher standard. ALWAYS FORGIVE. ALWAYS FORGIVE. ALWAYS FORGIVE. How can you call yourself a Christian if you withold forgiveness? My apologies if I offend anyone who reads this who is a Christian and has trouble forgiving, but I didn't write the rule book, someone much higher than me did.


If the road of life was muddy, I'd be coated in mud from head to toe, as I have slipped and fallen so many times that I should just lay there and get used to it. Yet, I will not. I will get back up and clean that mud off and continue to try my best. I will not give up. What I ask of my family and friends, the ones I love and care about, and everyone else on this planet, is to bear with me as I bear with you. Yes, sometimes I will make a wrong turn or get something wrong or be in a bad mood or misspeak.

So. Will. You. What will I do when that happens?


I will forgive you. Please do the same for me.