Home...sweet parish home...why did I wait so long?

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6


I am a Catholic parent.


I am not a good one. For a long time I believed in an "eighth sacrament" that was very much in force in the Church in the 1960's and 1970's, when the groundswell of the Vatican II reforms led Church leaders to severe misinterpretation of its wishes. The "eighth sacrament" I speak of is the Sacrament of Holy Osmosis. The "Sacrament of Holy Osmosis" is the one where you let the Religious Education department at your Church teach your child, but your own attitude is quite lackadaisical or you just feel that you don't have the knowledge or the ability to teach your child in the faith. For a long time, I "believed" in that "eighth sacrament". How wrong of me.


Now, don't get me wrong. I feel, and have always felt, the Catholic faith is the greatest gift I can give my beautiful daughter. Yet, due to my own anxieties and my displeasure at raising her in a new parish as opposed to the one my faith was formed in gave me an almost lackadaisical attitude towards it. This new parish was not my spiritual home. These people were not my friends that I had bonded with through RCIA and my early years in the Church. These people were strangers. I did not want to get close to anyone. I did not want to be a part of the parish. I just wanted Lillian and I to go to church on Sunday and class on Wednesday night and go home.

Good point.

For a while, I felt that was the right attitude. She's a KID! Kids don't like church! And this is the CATHOLIC CHURCH! We don't have Sunday School or other things to take things down to a more "kid" level while we parents celebrate the Mass. This is going to be doomed to fail from the beginning. Whenever her "Godmothers" (I consider my God-sister as her "deputy") are around, it was easy to get Lillian to be more enthusiastic. However, due to us all having different lives and schedules, they can't always be around to help. Plus, it is not right to always depend on others to pick up the slack. YOU are the parent. YOU are the one who has to do the job.


I have always called anxiety the Devil's marionette strings. Well, he has worked them so well in that regard.


As time has gone by in this first year of her Religious Education, she has proven me wrong. She has done an excellent job in her studies and knows a heck of a lot more than I could have hoped. She seems...interested! How do you like that? Amazing! I am so proud of her! Her intelligence never ceases to stop surprising me.


She has also started chastising me for leaving church right after Mass is over! Hey, she's a kid. I thought she would be hungry and bored. But no, she wants to get to know people! She wants to be involved! She wants to be a part of the Mass!


OK, maybe I need to start warming up to other people in my parish and get to know as many people as I can. Lord knows I have been beaten over the head many times about it. It's time to stop being a stranger. Even my Andrea, who is a Lutheran, started encouraging me to do so. She has been getting more involved in her own church life and it has done her a world of good. I am very happy for my lovely wife in that regard!


So, with nothing to lose and no trepidation (yes, no trepidation), Lily and I went to her class as normal yesterday. But I did something different this time. I opened up.


Lily saw Fr. Smith, and I encouraged her to say hello. I introduced myself properly as well for the first time. The three of us talked for a few minutes and I told them that we were fairly new. We had a nice little conversation and then I took her back to her class. Her teacher was late due to picking up some audio/visual equipment for the class, so I stayed in the classroom and watched over the other children until he arrived. When he did, I warmly greeted him and said I wanted to talk to him afterwards. It was time for her class to start, so I decided to go upstairs and say a prayer in the sanctuary. I don't remember what I prayed for, but it must have been something about helping us "find our place here, because we want to serve You".


Her class ended and I came in and joined them all in a Hail Mary. After everyone other than Lily and I were left, I started letting it out. I mentioned how I joined the faith and how I missed my old parish and how I have not felt like I was at home here, but told him I was hungry for Lily and I to truly be a part of this parish and how can we get involved. We ended up talking for almost 45 minutes after her class about opportunities to serve, and one of those opportunities was one I thought I would never have again after leaving the Lutheran church: teaching!


Flashback (cue the harp music):


When I was in the Lutheran church, I was close to becoming a Sunday School teacher. I was enthusiastic about doing it and thought it could have led to a fruitful second "career", and I would have been serving Him. However, all of the reading and research I had been doing ended up leading me out of the Lutheran church and leading me to Home Sweet Rome. So, when that was over, I thought I would never have that chance again because I wasn't a nun or a priest and I didn't have 50 years of seminary. So, I shoved that to the back of my mind, but it always ate at me. I love theology. I love talking about it. When it comes to the faith it is my passion to learn about the ins and outs of it. However, since I figured I had no chance of being a teacher because I have no degree and I am just a lay person, I filed it away, but I still held on to the dream.


Yeah, I also thought for a long time that lay people could only play a part in the Protestant church and not the Catholic Church, at least a part that would be ministry related. That's what I feel called to, some form of ministry, because I don't look like your typical church goer, and younger people seeing someone like that minister to others would be a powerful statement that, hey, the Church is not just some building that old people go to on Sunday. The youth can play a part, too, and still be who they are for the most part.


Back to yesterday: Lily's teacher told me to talk to the REP Coordinator about teaching, because they are always looking for people to help! I said that "Oh my goodness, YES! I would love to talk to them about it!" and I told him how I nearly became a Sunday School teacher. All this time, Lily is studying the materials used on the altar at Mass (a mock altar was set up for her class), and her teacher and I happily told her what they are all used for. This was great! She's INTERESTED in this stuff! So, I asked, how old does she have to be to be an altar server? He said, you can sign her up after her first Holy Communion! Hello! Consider it done.


With one 45 minute conversation, two long years of frustration and unhappiness in my new parish melted away like snow. It was like the voice of Jesus had come down from Heaven and said "Why have you not listened to your wife and your godfamily for all this time, you moron! It was all right there for you the whole time! All you had to do is ask. I wasn't blowing smoke when I said 'Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.' " When I picture Jesus talking to me, I figure He talks to me in a no bullshit manner, because I've always been pretty petulant and stubborn. I'm sure Our Lord face palms a lot when He looks down on me!

Why did I not remember this advice sooner?

We left the parish in an excellent mood, and Lily asked me a question, and after I answered it I told her of my hope to be a deacon in my retirement years. So, we talked about why priests do what they do, and I told her a priest's bride is the Church, which is why they don't marry, but they wear wedding rings. It was the first REAL conversation we ever had about anything Church related, and I felt I was talking to a child who was actually interested in what I said!


We made a connection. I honestly thought it would never happen.


Even this morning, I am beaming. The world seems a whole lot lighter, and the Lord seems a whole lot friendlier and happier. I feel the proudest I have ever felt as a father, and a Catholic. I truly cannot wait until next class to declare my intentions to the REP coordinator about becoming an instructor and helping young minds discover the joy of the Church. I cannot wait for Lily's First Holy Communion on May 5th. I look forward so much to this new chapter in our faith journey, where we become part of a new parish and a new parish family.


So, I ask you all, no matter what your faith and no matter what your belief, to pray for Lillian and I as we begin a new chapter. Pray for her that she continues to grow in her faith, and for me as I begin the journey to becoming a Religious Ed teacher. Pray for my dear wife as she grows in her faith, and pray for Lily's Godparents and my own Godfamily as they continue to watch over us with love.


God bless you.