And now for something completely different...Red leather is my color of victory!

"When you wish upon a star
Your dreams will take you very far
But when you wish upon a dream
Life ain't always what it seems
What'd you see on a night so clear
In the sky so very dear

You're a shining star
No matter who you are
Shining bright to see
What you could truly be (what you could truly be)"

Earth, Wind, and Fire-"Shining Star"

Sure, so far this blog has been about the first time I left the country on my own, but it will also be about writing, and this is something I wanted to write about. Hey, it's my blog. In the words of Homer Simpson, if you don't like it, move to Russia.

The picture at the top of this page and the lyrics from the Earth, Wind, and Fire classic gave me an inspiration, coupled with last night's therapy session I had. I do not plan to get personal very often on here, but this is something I wanted to write about. Oddly enough, and you are all going to think I've gone off the boil, this story is about an article of clothing, one that is very special to me. Some people love it, some people hate it, others probably think I look like Michael Jackson or Mike Reno from the 80's band Loverboy when I wear it.

It's my red leather jacket, and it is more than just a jacket to me...it represents me, and it also represents my musical hopes and dreams.

When I wear it, I feel like a star. I feel like one of the people that I grew up idolizing on MTV or in pictures in magazines or the liner notes of album sleeves. I get noticed in a crowd. Some people come up to me and ask "are you in a band?", and I happily tell them yes. It has clothed me during some very important moments in my musical life and personal life.

The day after it came in the mail, I wore it to Susquehavoc's final gig. Shane, my friend and musical partner in CSI, came to that show. That evening was a metaphorical passing of the torch from my musical past to my musical present and future.

I wore it to Rosfest 2014 and I went from being anonymous to being one of the most recognized people who attended the festival. It made people come up and talk to me. It made me come out of my shell and I ended up meeting so many wonderful faces that I am still in touch with and remain friends with to this day. It might have even helped make small connections that have helped out CSI. Even if only a little, help is still help.

I wore it to the Papal Mass I attended in 2015. The picture is of me posing by a grotto built by the cathedral in Philadelphia for Mary, the Undoer of Knots. So, you could say it was blessed by the Holy Father, and how cool is that to think about? All the talents that we have are gifts from God, and we always have to remind ourselves of that. We have to be thankful for our talents and remember who is responsible for them.

It was worn in one of my favorite pictures ever, me catching my daughter as she jumped off of a haybale at a fall festival. It means I will always be there to catch her if she falls.

Today, I even wore it to work, even though it does promote some snickering by those who do not know why I wear it. I wore it today because of the session I had last night with my therapist. I usually do wear it to my sessions because of the hopes and dreams it represents. Most of my depression stems from lament on how my professional life has turned out, going to a thankless job day in and day out that may drive me to an early grave because of the stress that comes along with it. My preferable professional life would be doing gigs with the band and earning a comfortable enough living for not only me, but for all of us in the band to feed our families and live a comfortable life with no worries. I even told her that I was considering burning my beloved jacket because it represented something I will never achieve.

My therapist told me to stop worrying, because I am a star already. The more I thought about her words, the more I realized that she was right.

I am living a dream. I am married to the best woman in the world who supports me in my endeavors no matter what. This woman is beautiful, smart, strong, and an incredible wife and mother. My life would be empty without her. I have a beautiful, vivacious, and outgoing daughter who constantly amazes me with her compassion for others and her caring nature. Plus, judging by her performance at her school Winter concert, the acorn has not fallen far from the tree. She has true raw musical talent. I want to see her channel that gift into something great. I have a home with my family that I am proud of and it has everything I want and need in it. Most importantly, it is home. My family is there. I am in a band with two (sometimes three) of the best friends I could have ever asked for who challenge me and push me to be the best I can be, and I hopefully push them just as hard back. In just 4 short years we have released 3 recordings of original material and have played some fantastic gigs. I know more can be achieved, and it will, but this is still an amazing thing to me. I have amazing friends who love and care about me and tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. I would give them the shirt off of my back gladly if they need it.

So, instead of burning my red jacket, I will wear it with pride, because I am living the dream. I am a shining star. It is more than just an article of clothing to me, it is my statement of victory to the world, overcoming a tragedy that tore a family apart and rising up from the muck and mire to build an amazing family of my own and a future that knows no bounds. It's my colors, my flag. It represents how I bled inside for years, and how one man's blood has set me on a path to salvation. It's not just red leather to me.